The Ass Wipes Network

PROFESSIONAL ASS WIPERS SERVICES

A Service For The Rich & Famous.

Are you a millionaire, billionaire, head of state, or a member of the royal family who is tired of wiping yourself or even using the bidet?  Do you feel you should not be lowered to the position of wiping excrement from yourself like a common animal?  Then you have come to the right place.  Here people will post their resumes for the position of being your professional ass wiper.  Most likely you would need 2 wipers covering 12 hour shifts to insure your ass is covered 24 hours a day.  The going rate for professional ass wipers is anywhere from $1500-$2500 a week with complete benefits (Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Retirement Plan, and much more).  The days of charging per wipe is outdated since these people must be near their employer at all times.  Most wealthy people have an ass wiping servant quarters for you to live in or use as an office to study your art in between crap sessions.  If not then you will be provided with a chair and table near the toilet area as sanctioned by the National Union Of Ass Wipers and the International Federation Of Ass Wiping Technicians.  Rich people please remember that this is a professional ass cleaning service and there is to be nothing lewd about this.  Please treat your wipers with the respect they have earned.

• Those on the lower end of the pay scale only have experience in wiping their kids, senior parents or their own asses.  But never fear there is room for advancement in this ever growing field.  Various nursing assistants are pretty much already glorified ass wipers and should seek to reach a higher level of excellent by becoming a full time professional ass wiper for the wealthy elite.

• You must have no problem with the various smells associated with performing a bowel movement.  If you can't take the stink of fresh fart gas then don't even bother submitting your resume.  Although some get by with nose plugs and various menthol based applications under the nose.  Just remember that wearing anything outside your nose or wearing anything that's strong smelling will be considered an insult to your employer or client if you choose to become a free lance ass wiper.

• You must have no problem seeing someone naked up close.  Many times you will be kneeling next to the toilet bowel with your face near your employers bare ass and their genitals as well.  You need to keep a professional  business composure to ensure that mutual embarrassment does not occur.  Laughing is strictly prohibited whether it be over the seemly ridiculous nature of the situation, the fart sounds they make or the size of their genitals.

• You must be willing to travel and sit or stand for long periods of time as your employer will need to leave the mansion or castle for various reasons.  Always have magazines on hand not only for you , but for your ass wipee who will need reading material while on the public toilet.  Remember to bring toilet seat covers and wet ass wipes.  Common toilet paper is usually beneath the wealthy elite.  It's usually fine silk towels or cotton wet wipes.

• You need to know how to deal with the tough stuff such as diarrhea, or those real mushy soft serve poops. Hopefully they can maintain a good diet and health because they are rich after all.  Bidets are beyond helpful for those situations but it won't do all the work and sometimes your employer will not want to get up and move to another bowl.

• You must be willing to sign a confidentiality contract with your employer, especially if they are famous.  Like most people the rich & famous want to appear at least somewhat normal to the general public.  In addition, you will hear and see a lot of their private lives.  No matter what happens do not interfere in anything as you are only there to wipe asses not smooze, unless they consider you family.

• Optional: You can increase the pay you demand by having had a previous professional paid ass wiping job.  This can include working at an old folks home, nursing assistant, octomom, etc.  Having high school or college courses in the art of ass wiping is also much desired.

Now Your Dreams Of Having A Good Paying & Secure Job Can Come True In The Exciting Jet Setting World Of A Professional Ass Wiper To The Rich And Yes Even The Famous.  Just Think About The Fact That Months From Now You Could Be Wiping the ass of Britney Spears, Nicole Kidman, Martha Stewart,  Dennis Frantz, Hillary Clinton, Bill Gates, or even Ross Perot.  The absolute height of the industry is to become a Presidential or Royal Ass Wiper.  A title reserved only for but a handful of gifted individuals who have spent at least 25 years as a professional wiper and are over 50 years old.  These paragons of wiping can make well over seven figure a year and are often knighted by the Queen even without being British.

You Can Post & Read Professional Ass Wiping Resumes Here

Enter The Ass Wipes Network Homepage If You Feel Your Not Ready For This Bold Move!